Try to look away from this article’s lead photo, I dare you. Come on, ignore the cuteness. You can’t, can you?
I have the fortune of living with the single worst enemy of the Internet marketer: my wife. In fact, I give her most of the credit for the modest success that I’ve managed to have as an Internet marketer. This is a person who runs ad blockers to avoid seeing AdSense, refuses to read product reviews and even clears her cookies before she buys products to prevent anyone from earning affiliate commissions on her purchases. If I present an idea to her and she seems even slightly interested, I figure it must be a thing of genius. However, recently I saw a new marketing tactic that has power over my wife like I have never seen before. That tactic is kitties, and my extensive research has confirmed that kitties are the future of Internet marketing.
Observe, if you will, the power of the YouTube kitty video. A video with just a moderate amount of cuteness will be viewed millions of times, and even mediocre videos receive tens of thousands of views. My wife has watched her favorite kitty videos multiple times. She’ll sit through non-skippable commercials to watch them, and since YouTube presents her with a variety of adorable options to click after a video is finished, she never watches just one. To illustrate, I have prepared a graph showing the number of views you can expect to receive on YouTube if you produce an adorable kitty video, an average kitty video, or a video with real informational content.
Conclusion: To make a video go viral, you don’t need to hire journalists, provide real information, hold a lengthy brainstorming session or hire a creative agency. Get a camera, press the record button and aim it at a kitty.
Next, I used SEO SpyGlass and Cubestat to look at the effect of kitties on a website’s ability to attract inbound links, gain PageRank, get traffic and earn income. What I discovered was shocking; if you hire writers capable of conducting thorough research and produce informative and engaging content, you’ll have a slight possibility of earning more than you spend, but you’ll never earn as much as you could by simply publishing pictures of kitties. Eureka!
In summation, I have conclusively proven that kitties are the ultimate untapped marketing niche, and this will be my last post on The Affluent Blogger. In its place, I would like to announce the release of my eBook, Kitties: The Ultimate Untapped Internet Marketing Niche. This incredible 500-page eBook and 12-disc audio set are now available exclusively on ClickBank for the low, low price of $399. Get your copy now, before I come to my senses and pull it from the market.
On another note, happy April Fools’ day.
Lead photo courtesy of ICanHasCheezburger.com. I guess this is backlink number 35,396.